Originally published October 13, 2015.
Bernie Sanders is no longer the most disheveled man in the Green Mountain State.
That honor now belongs to bizarre Hollywood has-been, Randy Quaid, the erstwhile B-lister who washed up at the feet of U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents last week and is now an unwilling tenant at a correctional facility in northwest Vermont. For those of you keeping score, this is his third jail trip since last May, but the other two were in Canada — same idea, different bacon.
You may remember him as "Cousin Eddie" in the National Lampoon "Vacation" movies. Every man over thirty recites the same two word line when he sees an RV. The line referred to the septic status of Eddie's Winnebago and was delivered perfectly by the actor — though not appropriate for print. Eddie was a great character. A great but thoroughly crazy character. And now it appears that some of Eddie has been absorbed into Randy. Known to many as the "not good-looking one" in comparison with his more famous brother Dennis, Randy has, well ... let himself go a bit. He now resembles a mix of Saddam Hussein during his final days and the Yeti.
Trouble has had a way of finding Randy Quaid in the last few years, but his behavior has gone to the bizarre. Some years ago, he decided that there were shadowy Hollywood forces out to kill him. They were called the "Star Whackers" but it seems that they, along with the notion that he was still a bonafide star, resided primarily in the actor's head.
Quaid is wanted in Santa Barbara, California, to face felony charges after he was found squatting in a guesthouse of a home he previously owned. He's charged with occupying the property illegally and failure to appear for court dates. His wife is charged with impeding Santa Barbara sheriff's deputies.
Shocking that Canada politely declined to grant him residency in 2013.
In "Christmas Vacation," Cousin Eddie recounted how his daughter, "Ruby Sue" overcame an eye ailment. "She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know."
I don't know either, Eddie, I mean Randy. But here's hoping you get kicked by a metaphorical mule and can come back too.
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