How Cold IS It.....

(Our nanny, totally under-dressed as usual. Kids, right?!)

It is approximately 30 below zero here in Melrose, Massachusetts.  It occurs to me that if my heat breaks I will die.  I don't know how to fix a heater-thingy.

And I don't know how to build a fire.

So I will die.

I don't have any survival skills because whenever  I started on a path of learning I immediately quit.

I quit the Boy Scouts after day one because I thought tying knots was lame.  Now I can neither tie any knots nor can I build a fire.

I quit freshmen football at Austin Prep after one day because it was hard and the coach was ruthless to pasty fatbodies like myself.  Had I stayed with it I would have gotten in shape and had the interest of cute high school girls and then.....ya know......   But alas, I spent the eighties inside watching The Empire Strikes Back on Beta under my "Alf" poster while those football players got to make out with this girl.


That said, there are things that I'm glad I never started, even though it was the popular thing to do.

I never got in to this guy.

Never watched his bike races.  Never had the yellow wrist thing.

As a matter of fact I have as many legit Tour De France wins as he has.

Thinking this through.....bare with me...

I'll bet if I had stayed with football I would have become a chiseled jock joiner, probably gone in to sales and worn that yellow bracelet thing - I hate that me.

 

Better to be me, except if the heater breaks.  If that happens I think I know what to do...I learned it many years ago...

 

Comments

[ed]

electric blankets and space heaters could save you and your family....buy some!

[Mark]

Stop being such a wuss! Buy a good survival handbook if you are that frightened. If you could be with either of the two young ladies I am not sure that your temperature would rise but your blood pressure surely would....